Appreciation post: The barista who told me to stop being nice to everyone

I was grabbing coffee at this place in Nashville last Tuesday and overheard the barista tell a coworker that being nice to everyone is a trap. She said it makes people think you're a doormat. I've been thinking about it ever since because I always prided myself on being polite, but she's got a point. At work and with my family, I end up doing extra stuff I hate just because I can't say no. Has anyone else had to unlearn being overly nice just to keep the peace?

2 comments

2 Comments

julia_patel13d ago

My friend Sarah got told by her therapist that she was being "aggressively nice" after she volunteered to organize three family reunions in one year. She finally stopped saying yes to everything and now her siblings actually respect her boundaries instead of taking advantage. That barista might be onto something about the whole doormat thing.

the_jason12d ago

Is it bad that I can totally relate because my people-pleasing is so bad I once apologized to a vacuum cleaner for running into it?