Just got told my 'ask anything' style was too much like a job interview

I was helping a friend with a project last month and kept asking super direct questions, like 'what's the budget' and 'what's the deadline'. He finally said, 'Dude, you sound like my boss giving me a yearly review, not a friend having a chat.' It hit me that I was treating every question like it needed a perfect, formal answer. Now I try to start with something open, like 'how's the idea coming along' before I dive into the details. It makes the whole thing feel less like an interrogation. Has anyone else had to soften their question-asking approach?

3 comments

3 Comments

ray18915d ago

Actually, that open ended stuff can backfire too. Sometimes "how's it going" just gets you a "fine" and wastes time. The trick is mixing it up, not just going soft. You gotta read the room. Some friends want the direct questions, it shows you take their thing seriously. It's about matching their energy, not just picking one style.

faithwalker15d ago

Why are we overthinking how to talk to our friends? If someone gets mad about a direct question, maybe they're the one being weird about it. Ray189 has a point about matching energy, but honestly, sometimes a project just needs the budget and deadline. It's not that deep. If your friend feels interrogated by basic questions, maybe the issue is their own hang-up, not your style.

campbell.elliot5d ago

Too much like a job interview"... that's a brutal way to put it.