PSA: I realized I was asking questions in a way that made people shut down, and it took my boss in Chicago pointing it out last week.

I'd always start with 'Why did you...' which felt like an attack, but switching to 'Can you help me understand the thought process behind...' gets me actual answers, so what's your go-to phrase for asking tough questions without starting a fight?

3 comments

3 Comments

susana661d ago

Could you walk me through that decision?" works for me.

wendys161d ago

Oh man, that's such a good point. I've found "What were we hoping would happen when we did that?" works pretty well. It frames it as a team thing and looks forward, so it feels less like you're blaming someone for a past mistake.

phoenix2917h ago

Hey that reminds me of this time my team kept restarting a server instead of checking the logs. We finally asked "what do we want this button to do" and realized we were just hoping the problem would magically fix itself. It sounds silly but that question totally changed how we handle alerts now. We look for the real cause instead of just doing the same thing over and over.