Just realized I was the problem at family dinners, not my uncle's politics

For years I would show up to Thanksgiving ready to argue with my uncle Bob about whatever he said on Fox News. I thought I was being principled, but really I was just spoiling the meal for everyone. Last Christmas, my cousin pulled me aside in the kitchen after I got into it with Bob about immigration. She said, 'You know he's gonna watch that channel no matter what. You're the one making the kids cry.' That hit me hard. Now I just nod and change the subject to fishing or his truck. I still think he's wrong about everything, but the peace at the table is worth more than being right. Has anyone else found a way to handle the loud relative without ruining the whole gathering?

3 comments

3 Comments

spencerm461mo ago

...honestly I think you're overthinking this a bit. Like yeah, it's nice that you're keeping the peace and all, but is it really that deep? The kids crying over politics at dinner? I mean, I've seen kids cry over a dropped chicken nugget, so I'm not sure that's the metric we should be using here. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for not turning every holiday into a debate club meeting, but let's not act like you were single-handedly ruining Thanksgiving. Uncle Bob is a grown man who chooses to watch that stuff, you're a grown man who chooses to argue. Maybe just both agree to be boring for a few hours and move on.

the_patricia1mo ago

You dropped a chicken nugget and they cried? Mine cried because I looked at 'em wrong.

paulschmidt1mo ago

Read an article the other day about how kids mirror adult stress more than we give them credit for. Like when parents get worked up over politics, the kids pick up on that tension even if they don't understand it. So maybe the chicken nugget tears and the politics tears are closer than you think. Not saying Uncle Bob is causing trauma, but kids are pretty good at sensing when things get weird at the table.