The great debate: should you call out your uncle's racist jokes or just let it slide?

I'm tired of sitting through dinner while my uncle drops offensive comments and everyone just awkwardly changes the subject. Last Christmas he made a joke about my cousin's girlfriend's ethnicity and my aunt literally started humming to avoid the silence. Which side do you fall on, do you confront it or keep the peace? I want to hear your worst stories about this.

3 comments

3 Comments

carr.brooke24d ago

You started humming to avoid the silence" is such a perfect description of my family too... it's like everyone's afraid to break the spell of pretending nothing happened. Honestly I've tried both ways and calling it out just makes everyone mad at you for "ruining dinner." But staying quiet feels like you're just letting it slide and that eats at you too... there's no winning really.

johnson.jesse23d ago

Well, you've hit the nail on the head. I've been there too, and what finally worked for me was picking one small thing to talk about before dinner even started. Like, I'd say "Hey, I noticed the garden needs weeding, I'll do it Saturday, let's not talk about that other stuff tonight." It gave everyone a safe topic to focus on. That way, you're not ignoring the problem, you're just setting it aside for a few hours, and that kept the peace without me feeling like I was lying to myself.

henry_martinez17d ago

Brooke you nailed the no win feeling, I've been stuck in that same trap too.