Hit 50 first dates this year and it changed how I see dating apps

I tracked every date I went on since January and hit 50 last weekend. Most were coffee or drinks, about 8 lasted more than 2 hours, and only 3 turned into a second date. The numbers made me realize I'm treating dating like a numbers game instead of actually connecting with people. Has anyone else counted their dates and been surprised by the ratio?

3 comments

3 Comments

henry_martinez28d ago

@xena_brown50 called it a "bad date story collector" and honestly that's exactly what I turned into. After about 35 dates I started noticing I was just going through the motions, not really trying to find someone I clicked with. The 8 that went long were mostly people who also gave up on small talk by minute 20. The numbers game makes you forget you're supposed to actually like the person you're sitting across from. I stopped counting after 50 because seeing the ratio written down made me feel like I was failing at something that should feel natural. Now I just go out when someone's profile actually makes me laugh, not when I'm bored on a Tuesday.

nelson.nancy18d ago

Is it possible you're overthinking the whole thing though? I mean, I went on way fewer dates than you and had way worse luck, but I never felt like I was collecting stories or playing a numbers game. Maybe the trick is to stop seeing it as a failure when a date doesn't go anywhere, like that's just how it works for most people. Those 8 that lasted two hours could have been genuinely nice folks who were also awkward, not just polite. Maybe you're looking at the ratio too hard and missing that a couple of those 50 might have been okay if you'd given them more of a chance?

xena_brown5028d ago

Ha! 50 dates and you got 3 second dates? Those are rookie numbers but terrible odds. You basically played the worst lottery ever where the prize was someone who doesn't ghost you after coffee. I'm surprised you didn't develop a caffeine addiction and a deep hatred for small talk about what people do for work. At least you figured out the numbers game is rigged, took me about 30 dates to realize I was just collecting bad date stories instead of finding a connection. Honestly those 8 that lasted over 2 hours were probably just people too polite to bail early.