I was at a coffee shop in Portland and overheard a date go completely off the rails

I was trying to read a book at a table near the window. The couple next to me seemed fine at first, just normal small talk. Then the guy started talking about his ex. Not just a mention, but a full ten minute story about their trip to Mexico. The woman just stared into her latte. He didn't even notice. It got so awkward I had to pretend to be very interested in a fire truck outside. It made me think, is it ever okay to talk about an ex on a first date? Some people say it's a red flag and shows you're not over them. Others say it's just being honest about your past and can be normal conversation if it's brief. What's the rule here? Has anyone had a date where ex-talk actually went well?

3 comments

3 Comments

loganl221mo ago

Honestly I've done that, told a whole story and then realized I was basically giving a Ted talk about my ex. Big yikes.

patriciap521mo ago

Been there! I once spent twenty minutes explaining why I hate a certain pizza place before my friend pointed out it was all because my ex loved it.

paulschmidt1mo agoMost Upvoted

That "full ten minute story" is the real problem. A quick mention is fine, but a long story makes it seem like you're still living in the past. Keep it short and then bring the focus back to the person in front of you.