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I told myself 3 close friends was plenty, then I counted my contacts and got 147
So I had this whole thing in my head since my falling out with my old roommate Dana about four years back. I kept telling myself that losing her meant I was done with big friend groups and that having 3 solid people was enough, end of story. Then last Tuesday I was cleaning out my phone because storage was full and I actually counted my contacts. 147 names. I sat on my kitchen floor in Sacramento and scrolled through every single one, and the wild part is I could not remember the last time I talked to about 120 of them. A bunch were people I cut off after drama, some were folks who just drifted, and a good chunk were people I met once at a wedding or a job in 2019. That number kinda broke my brain because it proved I was not some lone wolf who keeps a small circle, I was just ghosting people before they could ghost me first. My therapist pointed out that after Dana I started treating every small fight like a reason to burn it all down, and 147 contacts is what that looks like. So now I am wondering, is it normal to have that many dead numbers sitting in your phone, or is it a sign I bail too fast? Curious if anyone else did a contact cleanse and got hit with a number they did not expect.
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