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My sister's breakup advice backfired in 5 days flat
Last month my sister told me to go cold turkey on the friend who kept flaking. She said 'people who cancel twice don't respect you.' I cut him off after he missed my birthday dinner in Portland. Turns out he was planning a surprise party for me that weekend. I still don't regret standing up for myself, but I learned her one-size-fits-all rule doesn't work for every friendship. Has anyone else followed advice that felt right in the moment and watched it blow up?
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phoenix2921d ago
Your sister's rule has a hidden flaw in it. The rule assumes the flaking is about respect, but sometimes people cancel because they are bad at keeping secrets, not because they don't care. Sounds like that is exactly what happened with your friend. He had to bail on the dinner because the surprise party was in the works, so the cancel was actually a sign he cared more, not less. The hard part is you can't know which kind of cancel it is until after the fact, so a blanket rule will burn you sometimes no matter what.
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