The '5 minute rule' fixed my friendship blowups

I kept losing friends because I'd fire off angry texts right when something upset me. A therapist told me to wait 5 minutes before responding to anything that makes me mad. Tried it after a fight with my buddy Dave over a $20 bet gone wrong. Turns out 90% of the time I don't even feel the need to send the message after that wait. Has anyone else tried a timer before reacting to conflict?

2 comments

2 Comments

elizabeth90016d agoMost Upvoted

My timer trick was just taking a deep breath and walking outside for a minute, it really helped cool me off.

thomas.tyler16d ago

Dave's bet thing sounds like a good test case since it's such a small trigger. The deep breath and walk outside works for some people but the timer is better because it gives that actual pause to let the adrenaline pass. Five minutes feels like forever when you're hot but after you cool down you realize most of those texts were just gonna make things worse. How long did it take you to start remembering to actually use the timer in the moment?