Took me 3 months to get uncancelled by my own D&D group over a joke I didn't even say

Back in June I got booted from a weekly D&D group I'd been in for over a year because someone said I made a racist joke during a session. Problem was, it wasn't me - it was another player with a similar voice. I tried to explain but the group chat went nuclear and I was out before I could even send a screenshot of the audio recording. The guy who actually said it never owned up. I spent July and August not playing, which sucked because my warlock was finally getting interesting. Finally last week the DM re-listened to the recording I'd sent way back and realized the mistake. He invited me back but that lost 3 months of campaigns and inside jokes feels like a gap I can't fill. Has anyone else been collateral damage in a cancel situation where the actual target got away clean?

2 comments

2 Comments

kim.xena13d ago

Did your DM at least send a group-wide apology or is everyone just pretending it didn't happen? I had almost the exact same thing happen in my Warhammer group where a guy got booted for something I said, and the silence from everyone afterward was worse than the initial accusation. You gotta push the DM to make a proper announcement that clears your name or else that awkwardness will just fester every session. Also, don't try to jump right back into the old jokes and rapport, treat the next few games like you're a guest player rebuilding trust from scratch. The other players might be embarrassed they didn't back you up, so letting them ease back into it with you works way better than forcing it. And keep that original audio file saved in case anyone brings it up again because some people will always side-eye you no matter what.

christopher_sullivan13d ago

That "let them ease back in" advice is spot on, @kim.xena - it's just like how people act weird after any group conflict.