Character's phone died mid-plot and it saved the scene or ruined it?

I had my main character's cell battery hit 0% right when they needed to call for help in a horror story. That twist got mixed feedback some readers said it built tension, others called it a lazy cop-out. Where do you draw the line on tech failures as plot devices?

3 comments

3 Comments

jordang3227d ago

Ask if the phone dying was set up earlier in the story like a low battery warning, or if it just happened out of nowhere. That usually makes or breaks whether it feels cheap to me.

robertgreen26d ago

Come on, is a phone dying in a horror story really that deep? If the writer spent five pages on a low battery icon slowly flickering, you're probably bored before the monster even shows up. Sometimes it's better for the phone to just go dark when the tension is already high. A sudden silence while someone's trying to call for help hits way harder than some telegraphed "oh no my battery is at 3%" moment. You don't need every plot device to have a ten page setup. Let the jump scare happen.

hart.cora24d ago

yeah but have you ever watched a movie where someone's phone is at like 2% and they're frantically trying to send a text, and it actually works for the suspense? i read this one story where a girl's phone was on 1% and she was typing out her location to 911, and every time she hit send the screen would freeze for a second. that slow death of the battery actually ramped up the tension more than if it just went black mid call. i think it depends on execution though, robert's right that dragging it out for pages is boring, but a quick "low battery 5%" popup can make you grip your seat.