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TIL my date was still Facebook friends with her ex... from 8 years ago
So I'm scrolling through my phone during a lull at dinner and she asks what I'm looking at. I say just checking my feed. She grabs my phone and starts going through my friends list like it's no big deal. Then she starts naming off people she knows I used to date... I'm just sitting there like okay weird but whatever. Later that night I look her up out of curiosity and see her ex commented on a photo from 3 weeks ago. 8 years they've been apart. I found this out at like 2am in my kitchen. Has anyone else run into this kind of thing where someone just can't let go of a past relationship online? How do you even bring that up without sounding crazy?
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david_rivera41mo agoMost Upvoted
The whole "she grabbed my phone" part stands out to me because that's such a weird power move (like she's checking if you have something to hide while she clearly doesn't think her own online history matters). I've noticed this pattern where people get super possessive about their partner's past but keep their own exes around like backup plans on social media, even when the relationship is ancient history. It's one of those things where you just gotta ask straight up why she still interacts with him after 8 years, because if she gets defensive over that then you've got your answer about where her head is at.
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faithwalker1mo ago
You know what, I used to think the whole "checking your partner's phone" thing was just normal couple stuff, but reading this actually shifted my perspective a bit. That point about the power move is so TRUE - like she's allowed to dig through his history but gets to keep her own old connections without question. It's really unbalanced when you think about it, and I never noticed that pattern before where someone hides behind being suspicious while keeping their own options open. The eight years part is what really gets me too, because at that point it's not just a friendly hello, it's like keeping a door unlocked just in case. If my partner did that and then grabbed my phone when I asked about it, I'd be pretty clear on what her actual priorities are.
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8 years later and he's still commenting on her photos, that's a red flag.
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