I was the one causing all the drama for months after my divorce

For like 6 months straight I kept rehashing everything with my ex to anyone who would listen. Thought I was processing. Then my buddy in Cleveland straight up told me I sounded like a broken record at lunch. That hit hard. Realized I was using the anger to avoid actually healing myself. Now I just talking to a therapist once a week instead. Anyone else have that moment where you realized you were the problem?

3 comments

3 Comments

drew69021d ago

...and that lunch where my buddy called me out was probably the best thing anyone did for me. I read somewhere that people who stay mad after a divorce are basically just keeping the other person in their head rent free. That stuck with me. My therapist also mentioned that constant rehashing can actually rewire your brain to stay in fight or flight mode instead of actually processing things. I started journaling for like 5 minutes a day instead of dumping on friends and it helped way more than I expected. It's wild how hard it is to see your own patterns until someone just says it to your face.

terrybennett21d ago

Yeah @drew690 your buddy sounds like a real one. I had a friend who went through something similar, his brother straight up told him he was being a bitter asshole after his breakup and it honestly snapped him out of it way faster than any advice ever could.

park.robin20d ago

drew690 that shift from dumping to journaling is the real game changer right there.