PSA: stop telling people in fresh divorce to 'just focus on yourself'

My buddy said that to me 3 days after my ex moved out and I wanted to punch him. What does that even mean when you can't sleep or eat and the lawyer just sent a $5k bill?

2 comments

2 Comments

james_singh710d ago

Honestly I used to be the guy saying that crap to people cause I thought I was being helpful. Then I went through my own breakup and realized how stupid and empty it sounds when you're drowning in paperwork and can't even brush your teeth. You're right though its just something people say when they dont know what else to do and dont want to sit in the mess with you. It took me a while to admit I was wrong about that advice but yeah I was totally wrong.

rileyellis10d ago

Jump right into how hollow that advice feels. "Focus on yourself" is what you say when you have no clue what else to offer. Three days after a split you're still in shock, not ready to hit the gym or start a new hobby. That lawyer bill alone makes "focusing on yourself" sound like a joke when you can't even afford groceries. People throw that line around because it's easy, but it ignores the real mess of divorce. What you actually need is someone to sit with you in the crap, not hand you a platitude.