The debate no one talks about: staying friends vs going no contact with your ex-spouse

I keep seeing posts where people say you gotta cut all ties the second you sign the papers. But my ex-wife and I split up about 18 months ago up in Portland, and we actually get along better now than we did for the last three years of marriage. We split the dog, split the bills, even went to a Blazers game last month. Then my brother tells me I'm doing it all wrong, that staying friendly just makes it harder to heal. So which is it? Does staying in touch hold you back from moving on, or does being civil just prove you grew up? I've seen both sides work for different people, but I think the crowd that preaches total silence ignores that some of us actually liked our spouse as a person even if we couldn't live with them. Has anyone else managed to keep a real friendship going after divorce, or am I just fooling myself here?

3 comments

3 Comments

knight.mason18h ago

Wait you guys split the DOG? That's wild, how does that even work?

felix82418h ago

Ha yeah splitting a dog is a whole thing! I've done it a few times with friends. Basically you gotta figure out who gets the front half vs the back half since the cuts are different. The front is cheaper per ounce but has more bones, while the back is pricier but has better meat to bone ratio. We usually weigh the whole thing then split the cost by weight so nobody gets ripped off. The key is finding a butcher to cut it in half lengthwise right down the spine, not crosswise. Make sure you ask for the neck to be included too cause some places try to keep that for themselves.

ben66218h ago

Wait wouldn't the back have more bones since it's got the spine and pelvis?