Why does nobody talk about the weird loneliness of losing in-laws too

I'm about 8 months out from my divorce finalized in Phoenix and something hit me last week out of nowhere... I realized I actually miss my ex-wife's parents more than I miss her. They were always the ones who remembered my birthday and invited me over for Thanksgiving even when things were rocky. It's this strange double loss where you grieve people who aren't even blood related but they were your family for 12 years. Has anyone else dealt with that hollow feeling of losing the in-laws and not knowing how to handle it?

3 comments

3 Comments

milaprice1mo ago

Read a study once that said in-law bonds are actually stronger than people realize during divorce.

carr.gavin1mo ago

Hell yeah, that's an interesting one. So @milaprice, do you think that bond comes from the in-laws picking sides or from them trying to stay neutral and keep the grandkids happy? Like, I've seen it where the ex-husband's mom still invites the ex-wife over for holidays, just so the kids don't lose that connection. But then you get the other kind who treat you like you never existed the second papers get signed. Which type does that study say is actually more common?

kim1911mo ago

Read a study once that said in-law bonds are actually stronger than people realize during divorce" - thats wild, @carr.gavin. My aunt's ex-mother-in-law still sends her a birthday card every year, and they've been divorced for like 15 years. Meanwhile my neighbor's ex-in-laws literally moved three states away the week after the divorce was final. So either that study was looking at a very specific group of people, or my neighbor just got super unlucky with her in-laws. I'd be curious to know if that bond is more common with women keeping the ex-husband's parents or the other way around.