I finally stopped lying about my credit card debt to my spouse

For like 2 years I kept telling my wife my balance was around $4k when it was really closer to $8k. I just felt so ashamed and figured I'd pay it down before she found out. Then she saw a statement by accident last November and we had this awful fight where I felt like the biggest idiot. Now we do a monthly budget check in together and it's actually way less stressful than hiding stuff. Has anyone else been through that moment where you had to come clean about money to your partner?

3 comments

3 Comments

piper_reed17d ago

Oh hell no, I got a friend who did something dumber. He hid a whole second credit card from his wife for like three years. Thought he was slick paying the minimums and keeping the statements at his office. Then he lost his job and she found out when the collection calls started coming to the house. She didn't even care about the 12k, it was the lying that wrecked them. They almost got divorced over it. They're still together but she makes him hand over his phone and wallet every Sunday night for a check in. That's no way to live if you ask me. You did the right thing coming clean when you did.

west.anna28d ago

$8k is still rookie numbers compared to what some people hide. Look, I get that being honest feels better, but I don't think every couple needs to do a joint budget meeting. My husband and I have separate accounts and separate credit cards. We split the bills and that's it. He doesn't need to know I dropped $300 on workout clothes last month because I manage my own money fine. The real problem wasn't the lying, it was that you couldn't handle your debt on your own. If you can actually pay stuff down without drama, why drag someone else into every purchase?

gray628d ago

Oh man, I actually read a study about this a while back - it said couples who hide purchases under $500 are actually more likely to stay together than ones who share everything. Something about maintaining a little independence keeps the relationship fresh. But $8k is a whole different ballgame, that's like a car or a down payment on something serious. I guess the line is different for everyone but there's gotta be a point where hiding stuff just means you're not ready to be married yet.