A chat with my barber made me stop saying 'sorry' for small things

I was getting my hair cut last Tuesday and I said sorry for moving my head a bit. My barber, Joe, just looked at me in the mirror and said, 'You don't have to apologize for existing, man.' It hit me that I do that all day, for stuff like taking up space on the sidewalk or asking a simple question. I've been trying to catch myself since then, and it feels like I'm taking up more room in my own life. Has anyone else had a simple comment make them change a habit like that?

3 comments

3 Comments

betty_price141mo ago

Oh wow, that totally hits home for me! I used to say sorry when someone bumped into ME at the store. My friend pointed it out last year and I felt so silly. Now I try to just say "no worries" or even nothing at all. It's hard to stop, but catching yourself is the first step. It really does make you feel more solid in your own space.

terryh201mo ago

Man that's so true, it's like we're trained to be doormats from the jump. I see it everywhere, people apologizing for just taking up room on the sidewalk or speaking at a normal volume. It's not just being polite, it's like we're asking permission to exist. Breaking that habit feels weirdly powerful, like you're taking back some tiny piece of your own headspace.

the_logan1mo ago

Yeah, the "feeling silly" part is so real. I once apologized to a coat rack I walked into. Had a full conversation with it before realizing my mistake. It's a whole journey just to exist in public without taking blame for inanimate objects.