Had a convo with my neighbor that made me rethink public crying

Last week my neighbor across the hall caught me sobbing in the stairwell after a bad phone call with my mom. I expected her to pretend she didn't see me, but instead she sat down and said "crying in public is just recycling emotions the wrong way." She told me she cries on the bus all the time, like once a week for the past 5 years, because holding it in makes her headaches worse. It hit different because I've always believed you hide tears at all costs, that it's weak or attention-seeking. Now I'm wondering if I've been making myself more miserable by hiding. Has anyone else had a moment where someone just normalized your ugly crying?

3 comments

3 Comments

rodriguez.diana2mo ago

Hold up... once a week for 5 whole years? That's like 260 bus rides of crying... I can't even imagine being that open about it.

sean_johnson161mo ago

Oh man, right? That really got me too! I had a similar thing where I'd just sit in my truck after work like three times a week for a year and let it all out before going home. It felt weird at first but honestly it was the only way I could stop carrying that weight into the next day. Once you stop treating crying like this huge secret shameful thing, it loses its power over you. So yeah, big props to anyone who can just be that real with themselves in public.

the_charlie2mo ago

Honestly, that "recycling emotions" line is wild but it kind of clicked for me. Once I just let myself tear up on a park bench instead of ducking into a bathroom stall, I felt like I actually processed it and moved on instead of letting it fester all day.