Overheard a guy at the coffee shop say 'honesty without kindness is just cruelty'

I was waiting for my drink yesterday and this guy was talking to his friend about a tough conversation. He said, 'I used to think being brutally honest meant just saying whatever I felt, no filter.' His friend replied, 'Yeah, but honesty without kindness is just cruelty.' That stuck with me. I've definitely used 'brutal honesty' as an excuse to be harsh before. Now I think the point here is to be real, but you still gotta think about the other person. Has anyone else had a moment that made them rethink how they give feedback?

3 comments

3 Comments

nancyramirez1mo ago

My therapist calls it compassionate honesty.

sageross1mo ago

Sounds like a fancy way to say "be nice when you're critical." Not sure every thought needs that much packaging.

west.anna1mo ago

Yeah, and it's not just about being nice, it's about the goal. Like @sageross said, it's packaged, but the package matters if you actually want the person to hear you. If you just drop a harsh truth with no care, people shut down and the honesty is wasted. The kind part is what makes the truth stick.