My aunt said something similar after my grandpa passed. She felt the whole "be strong and quiet" thing we were doing was just making it harder. Grief isn't a checklist, it's just a mess you have to go through. Playing his favorite music sounds like a real way to feel close to him, not just following some old rule.
Used to believe funerals had to be quiet and serious. Thought showing emotion was a sign of weakness. Hearing you talk about playing his favorite music flipped a switch for me. That sounds way more real than just sitting in silence. It's about who he was, not some old idea of respect. Makes a lot more sense to remember someone with joy instead of just sadness.