c/forbidden-conversations

I used to think talking about money with friends was rude, but now I think not talking about it is worse

For years, I followed the rule that you never discuss your salary or rent with anyone. It felt like bad manners. Then, about two years ago, a coworker and I got drinks after a project wrapped, and he just came out and asked what I was making. I was shocked, but I told him. Turns out, he was getting paid $15,000 more for the same exact job title. That one conversation changed everything for me. Now, I bring it up with close friends, especially when we're in similar fields. It's not about bragging; it's about making sure nobody is getting screwed over. The silence only helps the bosses. How do you even start that chat without it getting weird?

A week in October where I couldn't stop thinking about a funeral I didn't go to

My neighbor passed away last fall, and I didn't attend the service because we weren't close. For the next five days, I kept seeing his old car parked on the street and it felt wrong. I realized I was avoiding the whole block just to not see it. It made me wonder why we're so bad at talking about the small, awkward grief we feel for people on the edges of our lives. Has anyone else had a similar experience with a death that wasn't a close loss but still stuck with you?

My brother-in-law told me my jokes at family dinners were making people uncomfortable, and I had no idea.

Talking to my sister about our dad's funeral made me realize we're wrong about how to grieve.

Bringing up politics at a family dinner went badly

Last holiday, I tried to talk about a current event with my relatives, and it turned into a huge argument. Now, family gatherings are tense, and I regret saying anything. What's your take on keeping peace versus speaking up?

The silent treatment I gave my struggling roommate haunts me

I gotta get this off my chest because it's one of those things we don't talk about enough. My roommate, he started closing off, skipping our usual pizza nights, and I just figured he was in a funk. You know how it goes, life gets hectic and you mind your own business. But then I noticed his trash full of empty energy drink cans and he stopped answering texts. It hit me later he was drowning in stress and I was too scared to ask if he was okay. When he finally broke down, he said my silence felt like I didn't care, which crushed me. Looking back, I wish I had just knocked on his door and said, 'Hey, what's up?' even if it was awkward. So take it from me, don't let the fear of a hard chat stop you from reaching out, because people hide their battles. A simple check-in might be the rope they need to climb out.

Just a heads up: I finally shared my debt worries with a friend.

It was scary to admit I was struggling. Their advice saved me from a bigger mess.

Salary secrets on the job keep people down, I learned by speaking up

Most people say you should never talk about how much you make with colleagues. I think that's wrong. At my last office, a few of us started discussing our pay over lunch. We found out that two people doing the same role had very different salaries. One was making way less for no clear reason. We decided to talk to our boss together about it. He listened and adjusted the pay to be fair. Now, I believe hiding pay only lets unfairness continue.

Grandma's questions got me baking as a defense.

My crumble now ends all family interrogations.

When my mom finally said who her favorite child is

We all knew my older sister was the favorite, but hearing my mom say it was weird. It explained why I always felt like I was competing for attention, and why my sister never seemed to care. Now I'm stuck wondering if talking about this will help or just cause more drama. Part of me finds it hilarious that we've been avoiding this for so long.

I don't feel guilty for not being best friends with my brother.

In my view, forcing sibling closeness often creates more tension than it solves.

Update: I never understood wanting to die on your own terms until I heard my aunt's quiet struggle

I mean, I always saw it as selfish or sad. Now I'm just confused about where the line should be, idk.

Surgery talk over cake made the room go quiet

We were all eating dessert when a friend launched into the gritty details of his hospital procedure. The happy chatter stopped dead and people just looked at their forks. How do you politely steer a chat away from stuff like that?

Dealing with insurance for therapy is a nightmare, but I found a trick.

I mean, the whole process of getting claims approved can take forever. What worked for me is calling and asking for a supervisor right away, it speeds things up.

PSA: My vintage medical tool collection isn't as creepy as people make it out to be

I've been collecting old medical tools for a few years now, and it's a peaceful hobby for me. People always act weird when they find out, like I'm some kind of ghoul. I tried to explain it at a family dinner, and my cousin just changed the subject fast. It's hard to share something you love when it makes others uncomfortable. Maybe that's why I'm posting here.

My top tech is making more mistakes lately. Time for a tough talk?

At my auto shop, I've got this tech who's been with me since day one. His fixes used to be perfect, but now I'm finding loose bolts and missed steps. Part of me wants to pull him aside and lay it out plain, so he knows what's up. The other part worries that being too blunt will make him feel attacked and he might leave. I've heard from other shop owners that ignoring it only lets small issues become big ones. But I also value our friendship and don't want to ruin it over a few errors. It's a tight spot where business needs and personal ties clash. How do you balance honesty with keeping peace on your team?